No Other Gods

The most important one, answered Jesus, is this: “Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” Mark 12:29-30

These two sentences successfully summarize the heart of the Decalogue. As discussed in my last post, my chief and highest end is to glorify God and fully to enjoy Him forever. Isn’t it wonderful, serving a God Who TELLS us exactly Who He is and what He wants? He is Yahweh, the God who delivered me out of slavery, and He wants me to love Him. How may I love God? By doing precisely what He has asked from me.

Rather than using this post to communicate some “brilliant new insight” on the Decalogue (as I would falsely pride myself in having done during my previous two), I would like to share something that God has recently illuminated in my personal life. Celibacy. Yes, this is one of those topics that likely will not be taken seriously by anyone reading. No one really wants to be celibate or to consider it as a possible lifestyle for themselves – and why would they – it certainly doesn’t seem too attractive? After all, celibacy is for Roman Priests and Nuns, and, as I’ve been told, for the weirdos, the ugly, and the unfortunate. Ouch.

At this point, my reader is perhaps wondering, “why is Todd talking about celibacy”, and several potential explanations may be popping into your head;

“Is Todd thinking about becoming Catholic now?” – No. I’m quite content being Presbyterian.

“Is Todd reacting to a bad break-up?” – No. I haven’t been in a serious relationship in over a year, so, there haven’t been any bad break-ups as of late.

“Is Todd frustrated at being single, and therefore saying something extreme in order to get attention?” – Well, it’s true that I’ve been frustrated at being single, but this is certainly not an attempt for attention.

“Is Todd just pulling my leg?” – Nope.

So, why, then am I speaking about celibacy? Because, as I further my study of the Decalogue, I continue to become convicted of sin in my life. In my last post, I acknowledged that, while I am free to follow my chief and highest end, I do not. Rather, I continue to sin. My sin prevents me from glorifying and enjoying God – in other words, I refuse to love God with all of my heart, all of my soul, all of my mind and all of my strength. In repentance, I have come before the Lord with a new petition; “teach me to love you.” In response, the Lord has convicted me of breaking the first commandment; “you shall have no other gods before me.”

In sin, I immediately responded to God’s indictment; “but, Lord, I believe Your Word, I participate in Your true religion alone. I have even followed Your call into ministry. Consider all of the things I have given up in order to follow Your call (I will never have wealth or fine things, I will never climb the ladder of corporate success). Everything I have done in life, I have done for You – what has taken Your place? His answer surprised me. “Marriage and family have taken my place in your heart.” You see, I have always looked forward to the day when I would be a family man. “I love romance, I’m a man, and I’m not afraid to admit it. I love kids, and I can’t wait to have them.” This has always been my opinion, and furthermore, I’ve always been of the opinion that my dedication to marriage and family was a good thing. Apparently, I have always been of an incorrect opinion.

You see, there is nothing inherently wrong with marriage and family – in fact, these are very good things, and God loves them. What is wrong, is my overwhelming desire, and daresay I expectation, to have these things. I admit, there is no one else to blame for my idolatry, however it is fair to say that I didn’t arrive at my conclusions on my own. Friends, Family, Mentors, Professors, Pastors and the Church have all aided in my misunderstanding. Until quite recently, there has never been a time in my life when I did not fully anticipate marriage and family – but there has also never been a time where I did not feel that this was my duty.

The Church has provided so many wonderful resources, equipping the saints in the knowledge of what God desires for the family, but, what about celibacy? I have been in the protestant Church all of my life, first as a Baptist, then as a Presbyterian; during my twenty three years in the Church, I have never been taught about celibacy as a lifestyle. I am a product of the “True Love Waits” generation, which was taught the importance of sexual purity (temporary celibacy) before marriage. But I never heard anything about the permanent celibate lifestyle. In my recent conviction, I have searched Scripture and two passages in particular have stood out to me (within the context of Mark 12:29-30) with regard to the celibate life;

The disciples said to him, "If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry." But he said to them, "Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it." Matthew 19:10-12

I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to be aflame with passion… I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. If anyone thinks that he is not behaving properly toward his betrothed, if his passions are strong, and it has to be, let him do as he wishes: let them marry – it is no sin. But whoever is firmly established in his heart, being under no necessity but having his desire under control, and has determined this in his heart, to keep her as his betrothed, he will do well. So then he who marries his betrothed does well, and he who refrains from marriage will do even better. I Corinthians 7:7-9, 32-38

WHAT THIS DOES MEAN:

Allow me to clarify the universal principles I see guiding these passages: (1) celibacy is a good thing, (2) not everyone is capable of being celibate, (3) to the believer, celibacy is a gift from God, and not a curse, (4) marriage is a good thing, (5) to the believer, celibacy is a gift from God, (5) it is better to marry than to be miserable in love (6) it is better still to remain celibate, if at all possible, (7) the married believer is distracted by the noble cause of pleasing their marriage partner, (8) the celibate believer is free to please the Lord completely, (9) marriage is a good thing, celibacy is better. This is one of those passages in Scripture that receives a great deal of abuse. Some pastors will deny that Jesus and Paul are actually encouraging celibacy among the believers – these passages could not be clearer, and both are certainly advocating the celibate life. Some pastors will affirm that our Lord and His apostle actually are encouraging celibacy, and then they will overemphasize the qualification that celibacy is not for everyone – therefore negating Scripture’s recommendation of celibacy. Most pastors will simply avoid the texts altogether.

WHAT THIS DOES NOT MEAN:

First, on a personal level, I will say that this does not mean that I will never marry. I am open to God’s will in my life, and should He bring a woman into my life and kindle the flame of love, I will happily accept His gift. However, I will not continue to live my life expecting that God should gift me in one way, rather than another. I am celibate, and God has given me no reason to desire or expect anything else.

Second, on a more theological note, I contend that this does not negate the nature of God’s covenant. The covenant of Grace is given to the families of the earth (Genesis 12:3). Period. Third, this does not go against God’s first command to all of creation; “be fruitful and multiply.” God would not encourage us to break His own commands, and Jesus clearly encourages celibacy. Finally, this does not mean that we should be alone. In Genesis chapter two, we read that God looked down upon Adam, seeing that he was the only man and saying, “it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make a helper fit for him.” If we read further, we know that out of his concern for Adam, God created Eve, Adam’s wife. It has often been deduced that just as Adam, without Eve, was alone, a man without a wife is alone. This is an incorrect deduction. The celibate believer should never be lonely, for they are a part of the Church.

Now, my argument has made a great circle! I mentioned earlier that the Church has played a major role in giving me a misunderstanding of marriage and family – the necessity thereof. In truth, I believe that many unmarried believers within the Church could resonate my experience. From the time I turned 16 or so, every Church I have attended has attempted to “hook me up.” My brothers and sisters in Christ have not only encouraged me to find a mate, but in many ways have discouraged me from satisfaction in a celibate life. Clearly, I do not believe that the body of Christ has intentionally and maliciously led me to make marriage and family into idols – my sin is my own. However, I do believe that the well-intended attitudes and actions within the Church have not reflected Christ’s ideals for his bride.

I mentioned earlier that I am a product of the “True Love Waits” generation. Clearly, I believe that the message of TLW is a good one, but I feel quite strongly that it is not a complete message. I am burdened that TLW has aided the Church in her misunderstanding of celibacy. I emphasize that there is nothing wrong with teaching teens that sexual purity is important. In fact, proclaiming the truth that God created sex for marriage and only to be experienced within the confines of marriage is a GOOD THING. But the message MUST NOT end there. Unintentionally, TLW has taught countless members of my generation that God wants them to have sex, and therefore requires them to marry. The beautiful message of the institution of Marriage (which is a gift from God for some) has been sullied. Individuals with nothing but good intent have perverted the covenant relationship, which was intended to symbolize the love that exists between Christ and His Church. Today, so many of my brothers and sisters in Christ are full of ungodly lust; burning for marriage, burning for sex, because their youth leaders, their CHURCH, taught them to.

Our Savior and His apostle have encouraged us in the inerrant Word of God to strive for celibacy, in order that we might devote all of our attention to glorifying God and enjoying Him forever. We cannot, MUST NOT, ignore the Word of the Lord. I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll say it again; it is of no value for the Church to preach the inerrancy of the Bible, unless She should take it up off the dusty shelf and allow God to reform her through it. Semper Reformanda.